Monday, December 21, 2009

"All is not lost; the unconquerable Will, And study of revenge, immortal hate, And courage never to submit or yield"

After my undying love for Ring Frog withered into the darkness, I tried to look around my school to see what other boys might turn out to have some potential. There were slim pickings where I went to school at the time, unless you liked the Richard Ramirez look.

This was my chola phase, that I am proud to admit I went through. No girl is complete without donning the Aqua Fresh hair-do and the suede boots that folded over on the top. I had a 'wow' factor, too. I was the only white girl at my school, therefore had the nickname "Huera." Need I say more as to what a hot mess I was!

Among the various junior high gangs, I opted out for a much more cleaner type of guy. This is where Suspension Frog came into my life. His real name was awful and he should be embarrassed to have to walk around with it, but all the same, I thought he was hot. I don't really remember much about how we began hanging out, but I do remember writing in my journal every night about him while listening to Tiffany and Debbie Gibson tunes. As much as I liked him though, someone else did too. And that is never a good thing, unless you like competition, which I do not.

Before I knew of this other 'girl,' he would walk me to class and the best day was when I had a cold. As he said something funny, I laughed and a little snot came out of my nose. He either didn't notice or pretended to not notice, but I on the other hand, was horrified. I obsessed about it all night and to this day will not blow my nose in front of other people.

The next day was even better. My step-father liked to collect and fix up old cars. But let's just say he was better at collecting them than he was at fixing them up. He knew I hated these old cars, so I specifically told him to always pick me up down the street at the library so that no one, namely Suspension Frog, would ever see me getting into one. Low and behold, one day here comes pops with the grand daddy of them all. He couldn't just stop at the library, but he drove in front of the school, in front of all of my friends and began honking to the tune of 'Jingle Bells.' Needless to say, I didn't think it was funny and was hugely mortified. I cried the whole way home. Soon after, I began walking home. It wasn't very safe, but I was more willing to put up with ducking gunshots than I was risking my dad's clunkers and embarrassing behavior.

The next day, Suspension Frog was walking 'the other girl' to class. I still blame my dad for this one. So, I lost, whatever, it ends there right? No! This wench began to follow me around calling me names. At P.E., she thought it was funny to call me a 'bitch' in front of my group. (Yah, I had a group). Finally, one of my friends said, "You need to handle this girl or we can't hang out with you no more." Handle?? What does that mean? I wasn't a fighter and damn it, she already won, what more did she want from me? Blood??? We were in junior high!

Fine! I stormed up to her after gym and popped her right in the face. I don't remember much of the fight accept that I fell back, hit my head on the concrete bench and was knocked out. The next thing I knew, we were both in the Principal's Office getting suspended. My parents were not happy to say the least, but I couldn't get through to them that I was either going to lose my friends and be an outcast or I had to get in that fight. I know there is a lot out there about bullying and I am not saying everyone should pop someone in the nose for any little thing. BUT, there comes a time when you have to stand up for yourself or you will be forever picked on.

That was the only time in school when I was picked on and I was in a fight, but I don't regret it. The only thing I regret is that it was over a frog.

Lesson learned - Never fight over a frog (unless the other girl taunts you day after day and your friends threaten to leave your ass by the side of the road if you don't do something). The only saving grace to all of this was that we moved the following year (yes, moved AGAIN). I was out of that rat hole city and school district and I was moving on to a new swamp with fresh frogs.

The future looked bright!

(Awesome photo by John Smith. For more, visit

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