Sunday, December 13, 2009
"Grace was in all her steps, heaven in her eye...in every gesture dignity and love."
How did I get here? That's the exquisite question we all ask ourselves at least one moment in our lives. For me, I happen to ask it quite often. Not literally here on Earth, but here, as in the rut I'm stuck in. The truth is that we all know the answer, we just don't want to face it. In retrospect, I would do a lot of things differently with my life and the relationships I've had, as would most of you, I am sure. But, since we must play with the hand we are dealt, we have two choices. We can continue playing and risk losing everything or we can throw in the towel and never know what might have happened.
I choose the first. I have always chosen the first. I live by "love like you have never had your heart broken." The frogs in my past might have a different opinion, but only because I have always found the warts on them and frogs don't like that.
By frogs, obviously, I mean men, or boys rather in some cases. I choose to call them frogs because they never turned into the princes I wanted them to be.
Frogs have been in my life since day one. The first frog, let's call him Father Frog as all frogs in my blog will remain anonymous, let me down at a young age and started me down the road of searching for a better frog. A frog that I would be able to call my own, would love me unconditionally, teach me the important lessons in life, show me how to pick a prince, and never, never leave. Father Frog did none of those things. He left early and when he came back around for brief moments, the Johnny Walker was more important to him than teaching me how to pick a prince. The prince I wanted Father Frog to be, turned out to be a boozer I detested. I'm sure right now, he is off in some swamp cheating on some unassuming innocent while downing a bottle of bottom shelf whiskey.
I do not look for pity in telling the story of Father Frog. I just think it's amusing that my constant luck in finding frogs for my entire 34 years has not changed, although my search has been unending. There is obviously something wrong here! So this is not about wanting anyone to feel sorry for me, just a soul searching creative attempt to look at my frog past so that I can stop trying to change the frogs in my life, but rather begin slaying them.
Lesson Learned - Do not blame your parents for all of your problems (although I often will in this blog jokingly). They are human and make mistakes, just like you and I will. Learn from their mistakes and do not repeat them.
(Thank you to Fleeh on DeviantArt.com for the awesome picture.)